1000 Irritating Things

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258 - Repeatedly mis-typing something

You try and type it, something as simple as “uses” but you type “users”, tap delete a few times try again and type the same typo, delete again, a different typo and then finally next attempt you get there. Damn you clumsy fingers. Still at least it means you picked up the mistake and didn’t email or text it.

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257 - Misuse of the phrases Semi and Quarter finals

I blame TV, you see it on the X factor and many shows like that, getting semi and quarter finals wrong. They use Semi final for the round before the final show and quarter final for the round before that - it doesn’t make sense.

Semi means half and in a traditional bracketed competition would be where there were two matches to decide who faces off in the final, so two matches, each one is 1/2 of the games to be played hence a Semi final with the whole round being called the Semi Finals. This works the same with quarter finals, each match is 1/4 of the games in the round so a quarter final.

It is not simply the round before the final, for instance the Great British Bake off “quarter final” consisted of five contestants who were then reduce to 4 by the end of the show - where is the 1/4 in there?

It’s a penultimate show and the one before that - stop confusing the matter in the name of making it all sound more dramatic.

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256 - Not locking a public toilet door

Look I’m not going to judge you for using a public toilet, we all have to go sometimes but lock the f**king door. Don’t look surprised and angry like I’ve done something wrong when I open the door and you’re sat there. The door has a lock for a reason.

I don’t know why but this seems most prevalent on an aeroplane, why wouldn’t you lock the door? I have no idea.

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255 - That little bit of showing off that goes awry

Come on you’ve all done it, that little spin of the bottle as you pick it up, the juggle of an apple from hand to hand instead of carrying it. Followed by dropping the apple or the top coming off the bottle that leaves you asking yourself why didn’t you just pick it up without trying to be fancy? At the same time as checking around to see if anyone noticed.

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254 - Golf

Many many people play golf and I’m sure at some point in their time playing they think “What the f**k is going on here?” and question why they’re playing it.

Golf is by it’s very nature irritating with the occasional miss hit liable to bring down the mood of an otherwise entirely pleasant round. Yet people keep going to back to hit their balls into long grass and spend far too long trying to find them as they were sure it landed just by this tree.

So here’s to golf the great thorn in the side of everyone who chooses to play it.

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253 - Video game controls not doing what you want

I know, I know, a bad workman blames his tools so a bad video game player blames the controller. But my God it can be so frustrating sometimes when what happens on the screen seems somewhat removed from what you’re pressing on your controller.

My best case in point of this is Assassin’s Creed which has the sprint and climb things actions initiated by the same button press. So if you’re sprinting after someone and you get a bit too close to a wall your character may inexplicably climb it thus letting the person you’re sprinting after get away. It’s enough to make you want to throw a controller.

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252 - Bad fake film driving

Filming people driving without them actually driving doesn’t bother me, even with all that dodgy background stuff you get in old movies. Nowadays I think it’s normally done with lots of cameras attached and follow cars or on the back of trailers or on green screen. Whatever way is fine except when someone is over steering, constantly fiddling with the wheel. 

I drive quite a bit and I spend most of my time not doing much with the steering wheel, I don’t cruise along roads twitching it from left to right. Why some actors feel the need to do it when they’re acting at driving is beyond me.

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251 - Overly sticky price labels

I understand the need to display a price on a product in a shop it’s a pretty obvious need really. However there’s no need to attach it with some ridiculously strong glue. How long people must have spent running products under warm water hoping it’ll help take the off the last bit of the paper that’s stuck there.

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250 - The washing up bowl lucky dip

You’ve kindly decided to let the wife / girlfriend have a sit down and offered to do the washing up. The bowl is steaming and full of washing up liquid and forthy bubbles so in goes all the dirty stuff and now we realise that may have been a mistake and have to play lucky dip. Will the next thing you grab as you swill your hand around the bowl be a nice safe spoon? Or are you about to find the pointy end of a fork or a nice sharp pairing knife?

Me and you both know it’s most likely to be that knife isn’t it.

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249 - That original idea that turns out to be not so original

We all have that Eureka moment and the following excitement before Google crushes our excitement by showing us that it’s not as original as we thought - I’m sorry man who launched 1000irritatingthings.com but I beat you to it. This is a site that I’ve only just noticed, I guess I’m too busy thinking of irritating things to Google for them!

Still you get a link from me and good luck in your posting to 1000, I’m still way off.