1000 Irritating Things

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266 - Switching between button and zip flies

One for the men, I own both button and zip fly jeans. After wearing buttons for a while I’ll get used to having to undo my belt to “gain access” as it were. It’s annoying when I switch back to zips and only ever remember they’re zips once I’ve opened my belt. The same the other way, trying to unzip buttons never works.

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265 - Clingy swim shorts

For blokes stepping out of the pool and walking around without checking your swim shorts can be a little embarrassing. Sometimes wet swim shorts just cling around the nether regions and a quick discreet rearrange is needed to prevent everything being on show. Awkward if you forget as you get out of the pool.

There’s no way you can know your shorts will do this either, you can’t exactly try them on wet in the shop.

That said, some blokes walk around in budgie smugglers so I guess it isn’t so bad.

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264 - Waiting for an important email

I know email isn’t an instant medium so I don’t expect an instant reply when I send a message, but waiting for an email is damn annoying. Every bing of your smartphone is heralding the possible arrival only to dash your hopes with spam. Every email notification icon on your desktop points you to your inbox to yet another email newsletter.

Reply to your emails people!

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262 - Math

Where’s the “s”? Why does it go missing in American English?

Apparently neither is correct or incorrect and no doubt “maths” sounds equally weird to an American ear as “math” does to mine. But as with any problem like this I raise the argument - it’s English, American or otherwise so what they say in England is correct.

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261 - Folding the corner of books

I can be a bit precious with books, I hate when people fold the corners to mark their place, especially if it’s a library book. Why would you damage this book that isn’t even yours? Just buy yourself a damn bookmark!

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259 - Bah Humbug-ers / Christmas Grinches

It seems slightly cool to dislike Christmas, to complain about the over commercialisation, or the enforced fun, the meeting up with relatives and over eating. 

But you know what? I don’t care, I’m just going to do my best enjoy to enjoy it, so take your moaning and bore off.

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258 - Repeatedly mis-typing something

You try and type it, something as simple as “uses” but you type “users”, tap delete a few times try again and type the same typo, delete again, a different typo and then finally next attempt you get there. Damn you clumsy fingers. Still at least it means you picked up the mistake and didn’t email or text it.

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257 - Misuse of the phrases Semi and Quarter finals

I blame TV, you see it on the X factor and many shows like that, getting semi and quarter finals wrong. They use Semi final for the round before the final show and quarter final for the round before that - it doesn’t make sense.

Semi means half and in a traditional bracketed competition would be where there were two matches to decide who faces off in the final, so two matches, each one is 1/2 of the games to be played hence a Semi final with the whole round being called the Semi Finals. This works the same with quarter finals, each match is 1/4 of the games in the round so a quarter final.

It is not simply the round before the final, for instance the Great British Bake off “quarter final” consisted of five contestants who were then reduce to 4 by the end of the show - where is the 1/4 in there?

It’s a penultimate show and the one before that - stop confusing the matter in the name of making it all sound more dramatic.