It’s not the end of the world, a little crunch in your scrambled egg, but when you decide to get it out it’s the hassle that starts to drive you mad. Every time you stick a fork or your fingers near the offending piece of shell it floats around out of the way.

You know how it is, you’re out on your “bits” shop, it’s not the big weekly one so you grab a handbasket. Then as you’re walking round you remember more and more bits that you need, and you pick up the odd buy one get one free, and before you know it the handbasket is full and you’re balancing the toilet roll on your head because your arms are full . You should have gotten one of those small trollies and, whilst everyone is giving you funny looks as you try and carry everything, you can’t think of a good reason why you didn’t.

A few artists have done this in recent memory (Cee-Lo, Leona I’m looking at you) they have a popular album, a while later then have a couple of great singles that boost their popularity and, often just before Christmas, they release the previous album with the extra tracks. It’s a real slap in the face to people who purchased the album originally that there is now this special edition with extra tracks. It just smacks of exploitation and money making - just write some more stuff and release a new album or do an EP or something.

“Press 3 for your account balance” and so on. They never have the department you want, so you press the closest thing and end up getting cut off, or stuck at a dead end and hanging up and starting again and often something distracts you mid way through and you realise you didn’t listen to all the options either.

This was one that came to mind after seeing The Young Apprentice winner Zara tell us she could “literally taste the end of the competition”.

I shall however leave this to The Oatmeal to explain (the following bit of work isn’t by me - but go and check out more of the Oatmeal stuff on the site http://www.theoatmeal.com and buy some stuff there if you fancy)

I’ve checked the calendar and Christmas is still on the 25th of December, stop celebrating it from November (if you’ve started in October you have my contempt).

I’ll start by saying that I’m very thankful that the company who make my washing powder give me a free measuring cup. The only problem I have is that I can never find the blasted thing, I lose the ones in the cupboard and I know there’s one in the box but I’ll be damned if I can find it. It normally tumbles out with about two washes worth of powder left in the box.

Bottles are a great invention much superior to cans for the very reason that they can be resealed and you can put your drink away for a little bit later. I’m sure you can all imagine the dispair as you watch a dropped bottle lid roll away into the distance, you’re now faced with the decision of drinking everything now, pouring some away or finding some make shift place to put your bottle and hope it doesn’t spill. Damn you clumsy lid handling fingers.

I am amazed that these things are still around and people are making money from them. It’s basically making up vague nonsense, recounting where planets and stars are in the sky and telling people that it relates to their future. 

There you are reading through a book or your favourite magazine and the damn pages won’t turn properly, you moisten your finger and thumb and to no avail. That next page just won’t separate. Then you check the page numbers and realise that there isn’t a page there, you’re turning from page 10 to 11 and trying to access some mythical page 10.5.